Zachary Band Instruments - Flutes, Clarinets, Saxophones, Trumpets, Trombones, Cornets, Fluegelhorns, Flugelhorns, Piccolos, new, used,
This page was especially designed for idiots to navigate.
If you are NOT an idiot, you will have difficulties understanding this page.
Step 1. - Decide which instrument you would like to purchase
Step 2. - Decide which payment method you choose
Domestic Purchases (USA and Canada)
Money Order or Cashier's Check
Mail us a Money Order (Bank Draft or Cashier's Check)
(for domestic purchases payments from USA and Canada only)
You can get a Money Order almost anywhere and its very easy. Shop around. Your bank may want to rip you off with high Cashier's Check fees, while Wal-Mart will charge you only 60 cents. Wal-Mart must be a recent creation of God. I believe God noticed something was missing in the world, so God created Wal-Mart, a place where ugly people can shop? You may be one of them and feel totally at home. Now I will get hate mail from ugly people and Wal-Mart haters.
This is only for intentional purchases and is a way of transferring funds from your bank account to our bank account.
Your bank can easily arrange this but will charge you a fee for sending a WIRE.
We also charge an additional $15 fee to cover our bank service charges that we are charged for receiving a WIRE.
Step 3. - Contact us (its easiest to reach us by e-mail) and tell us the following information
1. Tell us Which Instrument you want to purchase.
2. Tell us Which Payment Option you will do.
3. Tell us your Contact Information (full name, phone numbers and address)
After we hear from you, we will then reply promptly and give you the full payment total you need to send.
We will also give you the physical address where you send the Money Order payment or we will send you detailed instructions on how to send an eCheck. and any other details you may need.
Getting a Money Order is really easy
The best and cheapest place to get an International Money Order is at any Wal-Mart customer service counter. You can actually get one for 49 cents. That is correct, I repeat, 49 cents. I could not believe it either, what would we do without Wal-Mart? What was the world like before Wal-Mart?
If you have something against Wal-Mart, then the second best place to go is any Post Office. Here it will cost you about $1 for a Postal Money Order (unless they increased the fee since I last checked).
If you also have something against the Post Office, you are one screwed up person. You can also go to a Bank. If you hate Banks as well then I am not sure where you can go for a Money Order.
I hate banks as well by the way. Doesn't the insincerity, sel-serviance, phoniness, absence of any emotion, and total disregard for the individual, just creep you out, as it does me? They call that "professionalism" Unlike me, banks care nothing about you, they only care about money. In fact they care so little about you, that they wouldn't even consider you worthy to insult. As a rule, only those who pay attention to you will insult you.
The banks, as you would expect, are the most expensive places to get a Money-Order, unless you have some sort of an arrangement where they do not charge you for Money Orders. Lucky you.
By the way, Cashier's Checks are the same as Money Orders and that will work for us as well. So, I hope you get the drift, go to Wal-Mart.
When sending the payment
Just get a Money Order any way you like, stick it in an envelope with a little note which includes the instrument you have ordered with your name and address. This is so that we know what's up and why you are sending us money. Drop it in any mailbox. Oh, don't forget to lick the envelope before you mail it..
* Please contact us before you send any payment.
* Remember to send us a little note along with your payment, just because my psychic powers are not what they once were.
This note should include some very important information:
1. name the exact instrument you want to purchase, (please don't just say " send me a trombone")
2. write down your shipping address, (this can be different from you billing address. Remember someone will have to sign for the package)
3. your home and work phone numbers,
4. your e-mail address,
It never hurts to remind us. Sometimes we do forget things. We are even more human than most people.
*** Please do not send us any payment until you contact us first. I hate receiving money in the mail even though that is what the infomercial promised when I ordered my "get rich scheme Internet business package". I was supposed to be on a tropical beach with a swimsuit model and parrot in the background while checks came in the mail by the hundreds. It didn't quite turn out like that.
Click here for SHIPPING INFORMATION and charges
You have Questions?
All Prices are in US Dollars
Please remember that all prices on this website are in US Dollars. This is indicated by the USD designation after each price listed. I love it when people still ask if prices are in US dollars. The reason for this is that we don't have very many people in Canada, its too cold up here and people don't buy horns, they buy snow shovels and pay way too much in taxes.
Do you have any other questions? Has this page made you even more confused? Is everything as clear as mud? Do you want to move to Canada instead?
Just contact us email@example.com or call 519-250-6155
What if there is no reply from Zachary Music? Are these guys flakes or what?
NO we are not flakes! It does not happen often but we are human too and must get away a bit every now and then to maintain our sanity so we can deal with people like you and not loose our patience. Even though we love what we do, we get sick of our job just like everyone else. So if you do not get a reply within 24 hours or there is no answer on the phone, this means that we are closed for business for a short period. Simply hang on for a few days and we will return to serve you. It is definitely worth your while to be patient. We are the best and the best is worth waiting for. I know asking internet shoppers to wait is hilarious ludicrous, I thought I would try it anyhow.
HOME of Zachary Music
E-mail us: firstname.lastname@example.org